Oh no, I said crap in the title, how will I ever recover from this? Ha.
I want you to think for a second about the person that has made you feel most valuable. For some it may take awhile to conjure up an idea, for others it comes right to your mind. There are certain attributes this person has. Most likely they are humble, they are invested, and they deeply care (their body language, words, and mannerisms prove this)
The subtle art of giving a crap starts in each and every interaction. It isn't a secondary goal, it is the primary goal. If we lose sight of this goal, it gets messy. When we look at how to interact with others we often jump to the conclusion that we need to learn about their wiring, their likes and dislikes, love language, etc to effectively communicate with them. When this is our starting point people can see through it. What they see is someone trying to solve a puzzle versus giving a crap.
What if we started with a question? What if instead of looking for ways to move someone closer to a goal we have for them, or for us, or for our organization we simply asked the next right question and then listened? Listening is an art and a science and it takes concerted effort.
When people see that we are listening to what they are saying and what they aren't saying, they see us as people that value them at a deep level. When people see that you value them, then and only then can you try to inspire them. The subtle art of giving a crap is found in the trenches of asking the right question and listening well.
Here is a quick guide to help you on your listening journey
Every time you feel like talking about yourself, ask a question instead and then listen to the answer.
It's harder than it seems. Your mind will try and find the next words to fill the void once the other person is done talking. That's when you know you have work to do. When your mind is silent while you take in cues from the speaker that's when you know you are closer to the goal of listening well.